Seeing Through the Eyes of Love
Last week, my mom moved out of my childhood home after 44 years. I went back one final time to say goodbye.
Walking through each room, memories flooded back: Christmas cookies on the back porch, my teenage self in the bathroom mirror, my dad carrying heating pads as I recovered from gymnastics injuries, and decades of pool parties. Forty years of family life held in those walls.
Walking out to the car, I understood why my mom said, "When I walk through the house, I don't know why anyone wouldn't want to live here."
Yet the beautiful 160-year-old farmhouse remains unsold. People see obstacles: no master suite, too much maintenance, steep stairs.
They see the limitations because they haven't experienced the love there.
Each guest who walks through the door at St. Mary's Sewanee is like each person who walked through my childhood home over the past weeks.
My sister and I, who grew up there, see only the love. The longtime Centering Prayer retreatants and quilters who have been coming for decades see only the character. They know the quirky bathrooms, the steep stairs, the finicky showers. These things don't bother them because they know what this place is.
But the strangers, seeing the house for the first time? They see the obstacles first. No master suite. Too much maintenance. Outdated fixtures. They see the limitations before they experience the love. It's the same at St. Mary's Sewanee. Some guests walk in, and their hearts expand. Others walk in and immediately notice what needs updating.
When the staff and I walk through these halls, we can’t believe that anyone wouldn’t want to stay here. After 18 months, my heart still expands when I walk in the back door. The memories shared with me, the tender moments with guests, the rest and renewal that happen at every retreat—these are the love of this place made real.
We are working every day to balance the nostalgia and charisma of this thin place with modern amenities to make your visit more comfortable. We don't want to erase the character. We want to enhance each person's experience.
We hope you book your next "showing" soon. Every day is an open house at St. Mary's Sewanee!
PRACTICE: See Through Love, Not Limitation
This month, try this two-part practice about seeing with love.
PART ONE: A Place You Know
Think of a place you love, where your heart feels at home. It could be a house, a room, a garden, a church, or a retreat center.
Write down what a stranger might criticize about this place. What would they see as obstacles or limitations? What would they say needs updating or fixing?
Write down what you see. What makes this place sacred to you? What memories live here? What character does it have? Why does your heart expand when you walk through the door?
Notice the difference. Notice how love changes what we see.
PART TWO: Somewhere New
This week, visit a place you've never been, such as a local retreat center, a historic home, a community space, a church, or a garden.
Instead of listing what’s wrong with this place, consider what love shaped it, what memories live there, and what character it has that can’t be replicated in something new.
Notice what shifts when you search for what's beautiful rather than what's broken.
